So I just need to get rid of some extra anger I have on my shoulders. I am sitting in bed, at about 11:30 PM on a school night, and my algebra 2 homework isn’t done. Math homework sucks. I absolutely love math. In fact, it’s my favorite class. But the homework is so tedious. And I also have it every night! It takes so much time. I have to open my huge math textbook, get set up at my desk, title the homework, turn on the light, get out my calculator, etc. It’s so much!

Even though it sucks, I still need to do it. It’s just that time of year where school just is dragging out. There are less than 8 weeks left of school, and then SUMMER! Can’t wait. But until then, I want to finish strong, and get good grades. I know I can do it if I just work hard.

Well, i’m gunna go start my homework. I need to finish it. I hate not having my math homework. I think this whole year, I have only not turned in like 2 assignments. Alright, I have to get started. Peace.

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This blog entry is more of a vent for me, so I can get some stuff off of my chest. And I would like all the viewers out there to give me some guidance.

So I have been struggling this year to stay in school, mostly due to the fact that I have been beyond stressed out, anxious, and constantly have that heavy weight on my shoulders. Alongside, my school has simply just thrown me into the special education program, and said, good luck!

However, the special ed program at my school is incredible. But I just feel like they haven’t given me exactly what I needed. I have an IEP, and what not, but there have been few accommodations made that have actually helped me.

So like a few weeks back, I started the Bridges program at my school, which is a special ed program that students go to when they miss a bunch of school for whatever reasons. For about a week I went their all day to just do my make-up work, and prepare to go back to my classes. I finally went back, and was all up-to-date, except for one class: American Studies. American Studies is a combined class of english and U.S. History. Therefore, double the periods, double the work. And that was the last class I went back to.

I go back into American Studies, and I am still doing my Junior Theme, which is a big paper for juniors, and reading The Great Gatsby. And on top of all that, the day I go back, they assign a brand spankin’ new project on The Great Gatsby that they suspect me to finish in time by the regular due date. And on top of THAT, it is a group project, so I have responsibilities with other classmates. And on top of ALL of THAT, I still haven’t even finished reading Gatsby. So then I didn’t go to school today, because this weekend I had just huge mindfucks left and right, and a whole bunch of periods where I needed to calm myself down due to the amount of work I have to do.

I am going back to school tomorrow, but I am going to express how I feel about the curriculum to them. They want to keep me balanced, and not stressed, but now I have been the most stressed and unbalanced I have ever been. So, I am going to just go tomorrow, and tell them how I feel, and give them the work I have completed. The thing is Spring Break is coming up, along with my birthday (FER SURE), so it’s like all the big projects in school are being finished THIS week, while i’m trying to catch up from the past like 4 weeks.

I am done now. It’s all out of me. I love having a blog for these exact moments. But if you could, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me out, drop a comment, and give me some advice, I would really appreciate it.

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The name makes sense. Finals are usually the final conclusion of your sanity. The final end to ones life. The final destination, pretty much like the movie. Finals are filled with blood, guts, pain, torture, and suffering. In the past two days, I have studied roughly 16 hours. Today alone, I studied a full 12 hours, with one break to get food, and one to pick a friend up. And the sick part about it is that I completed the studying for half of my spanish final, and about a quarter of my algebra 2 final.

I honestly believe that it’s wrong that schools put students through the pain they go through. And my school has it the worst, and i’m in the worst grade possible. Junior Year. During finals, my whole school turns into drug addicts. Somehow there is enough people with Adderall and other ADHD medications at my school to supply almost all 4500 students with a weeks supply of speed. From little freshman, to big seniors. Everyone is just taking tons of pills, and the school administration is well aware of it.

Let me explain to you what goes on at my school. We finish all of our new material for the semester, and then go on winter break for 2 weeks. First off, what exactly does the school think students are doing over winter break? Going over school work daily? No. Teenagers will get drunk, stoned, trip, and snort random stuff at any chance they can get. I can safely say I didn’t go too crazy over winter break, and I still completely forgot everything I was doing previously to winter break. When we get back after winter break, we have 1 week to review, and receive our study sheets. And then the following week is the dreaded finals. If I had finals right before winter break, I would probably have to do about a quarter of the studying I have done SO FAR. Oh, and on top of that I have to read a book for my Junior Theme. I am on page 75, and there is a little more than 400 pages. The reading is due the first thing after finals.

Where am I at right now? Sitting in bed at 2:20 AM on Monday, patiently awaiting the painful feeling of looking at your alarm clock when it says 6:30 AM, and is making a very sharp, painful noise. Today I woke up at 10:30 AM, got ready for the day, and was in the library wrist deep in notes, text books, and binders. I had such bad hand cramps I thought I wouldn’t be able to continue. I ended up studying from 1:30 AM, and just recently ended my studying about 10 minutes ago. It’s 2:24 AM, and I want to shoot myself, metaphorically speaking of course.

This long, rant-styled blog is dedicated to all high school & college students currently in a world of pain because of finals. Good luck to all, and to all a good night. Good night.

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